


Goddammit, Baby, it's Cold Outside

by 221blackandwhitestripes



Series: The Summer of Smut [6]
Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: 69 (Sex Position), Banter, Blow Jobs, Camping, Cold Weather, First Time, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Happy Sex, Huddling For Warmth, M/M, Naked Cuddling, Rimming, Sharing a Bed, Summer of Smut, Tent Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-26
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:41:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24927109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/221blackandwhitestripes/pseuds/221blackandwhitestripes
Summary: It iscoldand Oswald blamesEdLuckily, Ed has an idea for how they can keep warm.Written forSummer of Smutprompt: First Time(s)
Relationships: Oswald Cobblepot/Edward Nygma
Series: The Summer of Smut [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1787152
Comments: 10
Kudos: 105





	Goddammit, Baby, it's Cold Outside

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is dedicated to all the people who wanted a "cold" version of [It's Always Sunny in Gotham](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18251156). I hope you enjoy!

Oswald pulled the sleeping bag up over his nose and glowered at the plastic ceiling. “This is Hell. I mean, this is _actually_ Hell.”

“I thought Hell was supposed to be hot,” Ed pointed out, somehow _not_ shivering as he carefully removed his socks and shoes, eyeing his pyjama set distrustfully.

“No, no Hell is fucking _freezing_ and this is it.” He reached up and pulled his hat lower over his ears. Mother had knitted it slightly too small and it always rode up.

Ed laughed, shaking his head. He was stooped over, trying to avoid brushing the ceiling with his head. “If you’re so cold, you should just take off your clothes!”

Oswald blinked. Sneered. Blinked again. “What the fuck?”

“I’m serious,” Ed reiterated, “The sleeping bag is meant to reflect body heat, and it works best without clothes.”

“You honestly believe that?” Oswald raised an eyebrow at him.

“Of course!” Ed told him. “Haven’t you heard that before?”

“I hear a lot of things,” Oswald stated. “But that was possibly the most ridiculous.”

“Sorry, Ozzie, I didn’t realize you only wanted to _complain_ about the cold, rather than solve it.”

Oswald scowled, burrowing deeper into the bag. “I’m going to murder Lee twice over this.”

“Come on, she just wanted us to have some fun over break. How was she supposed to predict the weather?”

“I don’t know, check the weather report once in a while?”

Ed shook his head. “If you keep going on like this, I’m gonna switch tentmates.”

“No!” He sat up sharply, the bag pooling around his waist before he hiked it up over his shoulders swiftly. “I know I suck, but you wouldn’t dare abandon me to _Jim_. Or worse, _Harvey_.”

“Then learn to shut up,” Ed said, but he began to unbutton his shirt, which meant he was staying and that was all that mattered. Oswald took an indulgent moment to rake his eyes over Ed’s pale chest and stomach before he forced himself to look away.

“Still, a _camping_ trip? What are we, teenagers?” Oswald felt a little warmer, but wasn’t that happy about it.

Ed started on his fly. “You’ve been complaining since the drive, Ozzie. Why did you bother coming?”

Oswald pursed his lips. He hadn’t wanted Ed to be left alone in a tent by himself. It would be like highschool all over again. And he couldn’t leave Ed with Kristen in a tent a few metres away. He still didn’t trust her around him, no matter what she said about being over her little “crush”.

“Ozzie?”

“Well, if I didn’t come, who would be here to bring the group down? Everyone needs a reality check every now and again.”

Ed chuckled, shucking his jeans (and Oswald definitely wasn’t watching), “Sure.”

Surprisingly, instead of reaching for his pyjamas, Ed picked his way over to the other sleeping bag, bending down to unzip it (and Oswald certainly wasn’t watching that either).

“Really, Ed?”

“I told you, it works!” Ed insisted, slipping into the bag. “You’d know too if you tried it.”

Oswald glowered. Then glowered some more. Then glowered while hiking his shirt up beneath the bag and pulling it over his head.

“There you go!” Oswald rolled his eyes, trying to awkwardly maneuver his pyjama bottoms down his legs. Ed busied himself with his phone. It had the annoying habit of picking up a signal at the bottom of a coal mine, while Oswald’s flickered in and out at the top of a cell tower. “Well, at least they’re saying it should be warmer tomorrow.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not putting money on it.” Oswald threw the pyjama bottoms at his bag. He settled down again, pulling up the bag over his nose once more. Shivering, he tried to get comfortable on the stupid, thin layer of foam that he would never call a mattress. “I hate this.”

“Woah, where did that come from?!” Ed gasped.

“Shut up,” Oswald snapped while Ed snickered. “And for the record, your tip doesn’t work. I’m still freezing.”

“You’ve got to be patient.”

“A weak excuse.” He pulled his hat down again. Ed sighed loudly. “Do you have any other brilliant ideas?”

“Well…” Ed began and Oswald frowned, rolling to the side to look at him. “...Never mind.”

“No, come on, I want to hear it. I’m coooold,” he whined, batting his eyelashes.

“Fine,” Ed sighed, “But it might be a bit awkward.”

“I don’t care, as long as I’m warm.”

“Well,” Ed shrugged, “We could zip the sleeping bags together and… and, I don’t know… hug or something.”

Oswald’s eyebrows shot up. If it was anyone else, his middle finger would be up like a shot, but this was _Ed_. He could picture it, too, their naked chests brushing, Ed’s perfectly sculpted cheekbone sharing his pillow. “I suppose we could do that.” Ed raised his eyebrows. “I mean, if it would help.”

“I mean…” His cheeks were noticeably redder, “It _would_.”

“Well, let’s do it then,” Oswald decided, carefully keeping his voice as light and breezy as possible; almost carefree one might say.

“O-okay,” Ed nodded, “Yes. Yes, let's do it.” He sat up, unzipping the bag and Oswald did the same. Sharing hesitant glances, they pushed their pieces of foam together and began zipping the bags together. Almost immediately, skin began brushing skin, knees, feet, elbows, chest, thighs, _close_.

Oswald blinked up into Ed’s large pupils in the small light of their phones, feeling his breathing stuttering a little. “O-okay?”

“Y-yeah,” Ed whispered back. “Okay.”

Slowly, gently, Oswald reached for him, and suddenly they were pressed together, Oswald’s head nestled beneath Ed’s chin.

He could hear Ed’s pulse thrumming away by his ear, and Oswald felt his own pick up in response.

The thing was, Ed and Oswald were _friends_. They had been for a long time. They were a package deal at this point, and any friend of Ed’s was Oswald’s as well. They were close.

But things had changed slightly. Especially since Ed’s break-up with Isabella five weeks ago. 

Oswald had walked into Ed’s dormitory without knocking, as usual, but had found Ed crumpled on the floor by his bed like a thrown away paper, face buried in his hands. Ed had sobbed in his arms, told him secrets that made Oswald’s ears burn and his stomach flip-flop.

Ever since then, things had been… different. Oswald wasn’t sure why. Maybe he’d noticed that for each appreciative glance he shot Ed’s way, he seemed to get one back. His jokeful flirting had earned him blushes and quick glances-away instead of the usual banter.

And now they were pressed together, (mostly) naked, breathing in tandem with stuttering hearts and wild energy. And the desire to stay warm.

Something began to form in Oswald’s head. He wouldn’t call it a plan, no. More like a _curiosity_. A “what if?”. Like “what if we didn’t have any underwear on” and other such questions.

He cleared his throat to get Ed’s attention and he was granted it immediately.

“Yes?”

“Well, I was just wondering…”

“Yes?” Oswald could really _feel_ Ed’s voice reverberating through him from this close, and it was distracting. Still, he persisted.

“You did say we have to be _naked_ , for this to work.”

“Well, yes, but–”

“So, shouldn’t we take our boxers off?” Oswald grit his teeth, holding his resolve even as excuses and offhand jokes began to pour into his mind.

“Well, we don’t _have_ to, but…” And Ed paused, and Oswald couldn’t move, his entire being focused on what Ed might say. “...but if you’re still cold–”

“I am!” Oswald declared, sighing in relief.

“Good!” Ed replied, “I-I mean, not good, just… um, let’s do this then.” Oswald grinned and nodded. They sat up and Oswald began removing his, trying not to look directly at his bed-partner. He carefully flicked them over to land beside his pyjama bottoms, then turned to Ed who was struggling a bit. Biting his lip to keep from smiling, he whispered “Need some help?”

“W-well,” Ed blinked owlishly up at him, “S-sure.”

Hoping the growing darkness concealed his blush, he leaned down to help maneuver the boxers down Ed’s too-long legs. God, he felt fifteen again, in bed with his junior prom date and waiting for _something_ to happen. 

At last, the boxers disappeared and they were stuck staring at each other nervously. “Um,” Oswald chewed his lip, “How about we… spoon?” He cringed internally but Ed nodded eagerly.

“You can be the little spoon, since you’re colder,” He offered and Oswald smiled.

“Okay.” He rolled onto his other side, closing his eyes and waiting nervously. Hesitantly a hand touched his shoulder and he shivered. Then slowly Ed was curling around him, bodys fitting together, and Oswald could feel _everything_. 

“C-comfortable?” Ed asked, hand drifting down Oswald's stomach.

He shivered, “Y-yes.”

“You sound cold,” Ed noted concernedly.

Oswald was anything but cold. “I am rather. What else can we do?” The question hung in the frosty night air as night owls and nocturnal creatures scuffled about outside.

At last, Ed asked, “Oswald?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you trying to get me to have sex with you?”

“No!” Oswald sputtered. “Are _you_ try to have sex with me?”

“No!” Ed answered back just as quickly. Slowly, the silence resumed, and Oswald stayed facing away, his cheeks aflame. “But…” Oswald looked over Ed’s shoulder and their eyes met, “...Would it help?”

“Yes,” Oswald nodded, a smile slipping out, “Yes, I think it would.” He glanced down at Ed’s lips then up again. Exhaling softly, Ed nodded.

And suddenly, they were kissing, Oswald’s hands sliding up Ed’s back, into his hair. Ed hummed, Gripping Oswald’s waist and pressing them together.

Oswald chuckled, pulling back a little. “Well, that didn’t take much.” He rocked up against Ed’s erection.

“Shut up,” Ed pulled him into another kiss, pushing his tongue inside and brushing against Oswald’s palette. Oswald moaned, feeling himself begin to harden too. Teasingly, he tickled the tip of Ed’s tongue with his own before pulling it back into his mouth and sucking.

Ed gave a sharp groan, his nails digging into his shoulders delightfully.

“You didn’t happen to bring lube along on this delightful camping trip, did you?” Oswald muttered against his mouth.

“Who do you think I am? Jim?”

“Oh, fuck no,” Oswald laughed, “No, no, if Jim were here, I would not be thinking about “warming up” his dick with my mouth.”

“What about your hand?”

“Ach, I suppose I could be persuaded.” Ed pinched his ass and he laughed.

He leaned in for another kiss, but Ed stopped him with a hand between them. “Do you really want to…”

“Suck your dick?” Oswald raised an eyebrow.

“Y-yeah.”

“Well, _only if it’ll help_.” Oswald snorted as Ed pinched him again.

“Okay, but don’t pretend you’re any better at smooth talking than I am!”

“Why would I need to talk? I have better things to do with my mouth.” He stuck his tongue out and giggled as Ed shook his head in mock disappointment.

“If that’s true, you’re going to have to prove it.”

Oswald grinned at the challenge even as Ed bit his lip nervously. “Just a moment dear.” And then he was on his hands and knees, crawling down the sleeping bag.

“This is an excellent view,” Ed commented. Oswald leaned back to roll his eyes and peck his lips.

“If you like it so much, do something about it.” Then he went back to his task, feeling around in the silky darkness until he’d located Ed’s hips. He was pressing kisses down Ed’s stomach when he felt two hands cup his ass cheeks and squeeze. He laughed, shaking his head, then leaned down. 

“ _Oh_ –”

Ed’s skin was warm and tasted fresh and clean, if a tad salty. Oswald swirled his tongue around him, trying to draw from his one and only other experience of this (Although, if anyone asked, he had two other experiences as well). Ed didn’t seem to notice his nescience though, judging by his string of near-profanities (oh my goodness, holy chiffon, fudging fudge!).

Oswald smiled, letting go of him with a _pop_. “You do realize that Lee and Krissie’s tent is like ten metres to our left.”

“I would do something, but my hands are _occupied_.” Ed squeezed his ass in emphasis.

Oswald tutted in mock disappointment even as he wriggled his hips invitingly. “Here I am, putting my mouth to good use, while you’re just– _nngh_.” He tipped into a groan as Ed unexpectedly ran his tongue up the cleft of his ass. Oswald looked over his shoulder, eyes wide.

Ed grinned. “You were saying?”

Oswald pursed his lips, considering it for a moment.

Yep, he was definitely okay with this.

“Well, fair’s fair.” He turned back to Ed’s cock and tried not to moan as Ed circled his tongue around his hole. It was unfamiliar but not unpleasant, and Oswald’s hips rocked back and forth, trying to adjust to the warm, wet sensation and the feeling of Ed’s long fingers spreading his cheeks.

Suddenly, Ed was pressing a sucking kiss _right there_ , and his cock fell from Oswald’s mouth as he shouted, then muffled himself to a groan. He felt Ed’s grin as he pulled back.

“I’m winning!” He announced. Every bone in Oswald’s body tensed at once.

“ _What_ did you say?” He asked, actually turning away from Ed’s delectable cock. “You think _you’re_ winning?”

Ed simply shot him a smug smile. “I think you’ll find you’ve been a lot louder tonight than I have.”

Oswald raised an eyebrow. “Is that a challenge?”

“I think you know it is.” Ed whetted his lips slowly and Oswald hated how his eyes tracked the movement.

“Fine!” He stuck out his right hand while his left reached behind him, “Challenge accepted.”

“Challenge acce–ah–oh _lord_.” Oswald grinned as he watched Ed’s face contort, his hips thrusting into Oswald’s left-hand grip strong enough to raise Oswald off the floor with him.

“You were saying?” He asked innocently as Ed recovered.

“Turn around, _now_ ,” he demanded, not waiting for him to even move before grabbing his ass again.

“You really like that part of me, don’tcha?” Oswald laughed, turning around obligingly.

“It’s your fault for always hiding it behind those long coats of yours. The world doesn't know what it’s been deprived of,” Ed monologued hungrily.

Oswald shook his head. “Shut up so I can suck your dick again.” Oswald stroked it a few more times, enjoying the weight of it in his hand, before he bent further for another taste. He could get used to this.

He had the sudden, blind hope that this wouldn’t be the last time they did this. That this was just another thing they did together. He quickly pushed the thought from his mind. It wouldn’t pay to get ahead of himself.

Well, not while he had a competition to win.

Oswald began mouthing down his length, licking and sucking and trying not to get distracted by Ed’s own ministrations which threatened to light him up from the inside out.

Oswald was sucking on him steadily, slowly taking him deeper and deeper, when Ed made the mistake of pushing a finger inside him beside his tongue and Oswald suddenly lost all focus, his teeth catching Ed’s skin in a gentle scrape that was sure to be painful.

He pulled back immediately, an apology on his lips along with the suggestion to work in a more one-at-a-time structure when he noticed the noise Ed was making. No, not noise; the _word._

Oswald stared back at him in wonderment. “Was that a good ‘fuck’ or a bad ‘fuck’?”

Ed’s chest was heaving and he barely managed to pant out, “Good. Very good.”

“Didn’t I get you?”

“No, but it wasn’t…” Ed continued to pant, “It was just enough.”

Oswald tried to suppress his smile. “Huh.”

_He was **so** winning this._

Oswald had never sucked cock this well. He doubted he ever could again. He ignored his aching jaw and screaming lungs as He took Ed deep into his throat and tried to count as high as possible before pulling back and doing it all over again. He grazed his teeth lightly, teasingly, and Ed’s hips lifted and jolted, noises purred between Oswald’s cheeks in the most satisfying way.

Ed was getting louder and louder, his hips moving in less controlled circles. Suddenly, he stopped, every muscle tensed. Oswald frowned, releasing his cock with a soft _pop_.

“What are you doing?”

“I _refuse_ to let you win,” he spat indignantly, scarcely moving his jaw.

“So you’re just gonna stay like this?” Oswald asked, trying not to laugh.

“This isn’t fair!” Oswald could _hear_ his pout. With a sigh, he turned around again, his mussed hair dragging noisily against the sleeping bag’s fabric.

“Come now, Ed. It’s just a bit of fun.”

“Well, you didn’t seem to have as much fun as me,” Ed huffed.

“Are you kidding?” Oswald snorted. “Do you know how hard it is to concentrate when you do that shit?”

Ed’s pout lessened. “...No?”

Oswald rolled his eyes, hooking his leg over Ed’s to straddle him and align their cocks. Ed’s expression immediately changed. “Does it feel like I’ve been having fun?”

Suddenly, Ed grinned, wicked and evil, and his hand was wrapped around Oswald’s cock, smoothing precome down his length with a steady grip.

“Fu- _uck_ ,” Oswald shuddered, his eyes fluttering shut. Ed laughed, loud. “Shut up! This is worse than the time with the air-hockey.”

“You’re the one who broke that chair!” Ed sputtered.

“Oh, fuck off,” Oswald stuck out his tongue and Ed grinned again before pushing forward and taking it between his lips. Oswald rolled his eyes and kissed him properly, pushing into his grip (not because it felt fucking _deleriously_ good, but because it would make Ed feel better, that’s all).

“You know, this is better than I thought it’d be,” Ed mumbled against his lips.

“Oh, you’ve thought about it, huh?” Oswald teased as he planted kisses down his jaw.

“Well, there was less talking when I pictured it…”

“Shut up!” Oswald smacked his thigh.

“Hey!” Ed laughed. “It’s not so bad! I like the sound of your voice.

“Oh yeah?” he purred.

“Mhmm,” Ed hummed, “Especially in the mornings.”

Oswald laughed. “You’re lucky you’re gorgeous, honey, or I might actually start listening to the shit you say.”

Ed released him just to lick his hand. “Enough bitching, please.”

“You’re such a…” Oswald forgot what the rest of his sentence was, not that it mattered with Ed’s lips pressed to his and a warm hand wrapped around his dick. He let himself moan because, let’s face it, Ed was pretty good at this.

Ed’s other hand stroked down his chest, teasing his nipples and Oswald was weighing the merits of letting a bastard like Ed win one over him when he suddenly pulled away to press both of their cocks together in his palm and moan.

“Fuck, that feels…”

“Good,” Ed finished, threading his fingers through Oswald’s hair.

Oswald nodded, his thoughts growing sluggish as sensation crowded him; their skin sliding together wetly, sweat on his back, the salty taste of Ed’s skin on his tongue as he bit hard on his neck and sucked.

“Oh my, I…” Ed hissed, his hips twitching beneath him, the two of them moving in tandem and an increasing speed as if they were chasing something wonderful and undiscovered, a new kind of wonder only the two of them could share. And, in a way, they were.

“Fuck, Oswald, fuck, fuck, _fuck!_ ” Ed yelled in his hair, and Oswald could feel him tense against him and it sent something bursting in his chest, intimacy drowning him until he was panting Ed’s name as well, whispers or screams, he couldn’t tell, just found himself spilling over his fist and wishing this would never end and they could stay wrapped together in this halo of heat forever.

But suddenly he blinked and Ed was still beneath him and he had the feeling it might be over.

Oswald panted, from exertion or panic, he wasn’t too sure, but he had to do something. He pushed into Ed’s face, kissing him hard, again and again.

But Ed soon took him by the shoulders, putting distance between them. “Ozzie, I need to breathe!”

“Sorry, yes of course.” Oswald nodded, locking his jaw, He pulled away, looking around the tent. It was warmer now, smelling of sweat and sex. Oswald sighed. “We can unzip the bags if you want to. We don’t have to sleep together just because–”

“You don’t want to sleep with me?” Oswald looked back at him, not prepared for the hurt expression that greeted him.

“I do want to. But we don’t have to unless you want to,” he ventured slowly, glancing between Ed’s eyes nervously.

“Well, I do want to,” Ed said solemnly. “A-and, when we get home…”

“Get home,” his heart was pounding and he was tingly all over, leaning in to hear Ed speak.

“Well…” Ed cleared his throat, “My bed’s big enough for two. I’m sure you’ll find out.”

Oswald failed to keep his smile in check. “Indeed, I’m sure I will.”

Ed smiled that sweet lopsided smile Oswald liked to claim as his own and beckoned him closer with an arm. “Now will you please lie down with me so we can go to sleep?”

“I suppose so,” Oswald sighed, rolling to fit himself against Ed, tucking his head beneath his chin, “Just because you begged so nicely.”

Ed snorted. “I can’t believe you.”

And, truthfully, Oswald couldn’t believe it either.

But he would. In time.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading this short little slice of smut, I hope you enjoyed! In return, a comment and/or kudos would be greatly appreciated!
> 
> Also, a special thanks to Chierei and the Nygmobble Haven gang for organizing this little event. Y'all are awesome <3


End file.
